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Seclusion and Renunciation is not for me: I have responsibilities Samaritans

Teaching a lesson in manners to my NHS2

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Shantanu Panigrahi <shantanupanigrahi@yahoo.com>

To:

jo@samaritans.org

Wed, 14 Sept at 21:05


Hello Jo


Thanks for getting back to me and explaining the issues clearly. I will try and explain my desperation as clearly as you have done with the options of contacting the Samaritans.


I used to be very sceptical of our Hinduism in that it believes in renunciation of worldly matters, I thought one should enjoy the world and immerse oneself in Creation, believing as I did that God created the universe for us to live in.


I am not so sure now, after the past 25 years of interactions that I have had in considerable detail with society at last and with the public institutions in particular. I am resigned to life in solitude as you will read here: Silence is golden in the bliss of solitude (thelibertariandemocrats.com)

https://www.thelibertariandemocrats.com/post/silence-is-golden-in-the-bliss-of-solitude

Silence is golden in the bliss of solitude


This is because no one understands my views when I talk about Brahma-Nature and its nuances that generate interactions in the environment that one has to navigate very carefully consisting of as it does of rajasic, tamasic and sattvic guna attributes; representing the semi-divine, evil and divine consistencies. When one is sattvic or tamasic there is no problem, one just does whatever these gunas spur want to do and reap the harvest or pay the penalty in the State that one lives in. However, when one is rajasic like me he has problems in coping with sattvic and tamasic elements on either side of the spectrum and has to navigate his way to survival. I have been doing that the past 25 years since I was booted out of the University of Greenwich on a charge of being blameworthy of gross misconduct towards colleagues and senior management who were entirely tamasic in character, the sattvic ones just keep quiet believing that one must do as one is told in their sentimentality of piety. So the story went on day after, day in what I described as dharmayudha, to chart a course that would keep my family together for those who I rebelled against did not like my peaceful means of resistance in the belief that God wished me to be peaceful.


But 25 years is long enough. I never got anywhere with my middle of the ground defensive litigations against the elements of Brahma-Nature who did not share my political belief of Conservative Libertarianism that is based on a religious philosophy. I have enough of the fight for it cause me desperation as I told you about and which you recognise because fighting the sattvic and tamasic elements generated paranoid schizophrenia and persistent delusions that I suffered from over those 25 years. I am now trying a different approach and taking the sincerity with which Hindu sages have renounced the world for the they must all be rajasic as this is the truth-Centre that we know as Om, the gateway to Heaven. I am not applying for any more jobs and am keen on playing second fiddle to my wife and daughter as they go about their daily businesses. I am not publishing any more books to add to the 77 books that I have written under the theme 'The Allurement of Reality' and will not write anything more in my dozen websites including Facebook, Twitter or LinkedIn. Freedom from all evils can only be possible if I am more or less housebound treating my home as Shanti Niwas and rejecting contacts with Nature's wherewithal’s.


I will see if this does the trick in evading desperation and suicidal tendencies of being submerged in Brahma-Nature. I cannot go for the £3.5 million damages and compensation from the government of the United Kingdom and the $12.5 million from the government of the United States of America for their combined tamasic persecution and victimisation of me for being a truth-seeker gyan yogi. I will survive on my pension of £1000 per month and whatever my wife gives me towards our maintenance of the house. Hopefully the cost-of-living crisis that we are facing will not affect me if I renounce the world (samsara).


I hope that I have given you my present moment thoughts written as usual nonchalantly, spontaneously and unpremeditatedly so pardon the mistakes. I never read what I am writing but do reflect on whether it is the Self that has generated my writings or whether it is my mind working intellectually.


Please let us discuss my seclusion from public life if it is the wrong way to go about what is left of my life at 65 years of age, still with a British Nationality and United Kingdom passport, one of the few things that even a renunciate householder cannot do without for travel may be necessary as Swami Shantananda.


Yours truly


Shantanu

Shantanu Panigrahi

3 Hoath Lane

Wigmore

Gillingham

Kent ME8 0SL

Tel: 07967789619


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On Wednesday, 14 September 2022 at 19:10:47 BST, <jo@samaritans.org> wrote:


Dear Shantanu,


I can only apologise for any initial confusion and our delayed response - in your earlier messages it was a little unclear as to whether you were reaching out to the Samaritans for support, or if you are inadvertently messaging us in your attempts to contact the NHS and / or your Personality Disorder Group Sessions Meeting.


Now that we have contact, we can continue to correspond via e-mail or if you would prefer to talk to us, you can call us at any time.


We offer a safe place for you to talk any time you like, in your own way – about whatever’s worrying you.


We will not judge you or tell you what to do, we'll listen to you. You can call us free, from any phone, on 116 123.


Of course if e-mail is your preference, we can continue to message this way, but please do be aware that it can often be several hours before someone reads your e-mail and if you need more urgent support we can respond more quickly if you call.


We are here to support you via whatever medium you opt to use.


I see in your message from the 13th September, that you are saying that we are your last hope, and we would really like to be here to support you and listen to you through what does sound to be an extremely difficult time for you.


Would you like to talk some more about what this feeling of deeper desperation that you fear ?


Jo

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